Stopping Old In Its Tracks: Where Does This Boomer Attitude Come From?
It’s all about the widespread availability
of hair dye. Hair dye stopped Old in its tracks, said a famous iconic author who
died recently. So that’s looks taken care of, what about attitude? For me it’s
music and independence. A fierce independence that grew out of the
incomprehension that became known at the generation gap. I don’t think there’s
ever been anything like it, generally, at any other time and mine was
particularly extreme. My father was born two centuries ago, in 1899. He came
late to parenting obviously - I’m not that old. In 1955, up I popped into my
father’s life in the company of rock & roll and all things utterly
incomprehensible to him. As time passed and I grew into my teens, the
cohabiting peace-badge-waving hippie and the Victorian who’d fought in two
world wars for all the freedoms that we enjoyed, were never going to see eye to
eye.
For me growing up was all about growing
away. I left home as soon as I could - still a child, certainly in naiveté,
never to return apart from duty visits, and to this day regret the lack of
communication that just grew and grew between us. I remember my father gazing
on, baffled, as his 14-year-old daughter laughed until she cried, rolling about
on the floor in hysterics at a man walking in a silly way on new TV show called
Monty Python’s Flying Circus. This was nothing compared to the music. My poor
father’s incomprehension and, well, sheer disgust, just grew as my (full-on)
groupie instincts kicked in. From repeatedly playing an album called My People
Were Fair & Had Sky In Their Hair But Now They're Content To Wear Stars On
Their Brows to plastering the walls of my bedroom with an androgynous skinny
being (“You call that a man?!”) with spiky orange hair and full make-up. I grew
up in South London, which happened to be the beating heart of the 1970s rock
scene. David Bowie played in the local pubs and village halls and my friend
Jean and I were there. ALWAYS. Two shy 16-year-olds, the only regular fans at
every single gig. He was kind to his fans and we got to know him a little. The
scene in my current novel work in progress where he drives Avril home in his
blue jag after a gig, still in his blue padded Ziggy spacesuit, did actually happen.
My father’s desire for me to go into his
beloved RAF (Royal Air Force) was laughable. I understand now how hard it must
have been for him, but I hadn’t a clue at the time, so wrapped up was I in
myself and my beautiful idols. By the time the first boyfriend arrived - a
musician of course, with frizzy Bolan locks, flowery Indian shirts and an
intoxicating aura of weed and patchouli - all had been lost. At the age of 18,
I was driven away in an orange VW Campervan plastered with peace logos to live in
a kind of hippie commune without as much as a wave goodbye. I never talked with
my parents about leaving home, but then we never talked about anything.
So, along with sexy savvy heroines, music
is what I bring to my Boomerlit novels. The Widow’s To Do List is a comedy
romance about a 50-year-old rock chick, a backup singer who can’t decide
whether to age gracefully or disgracefully. As she struggles to get over her
grief she finds herself in a world where sex is everywhere whilst death is
still the great taboo. My male lead is a musician, a cross between the two sexiest men on the planet in the 1970s who weren’t David Bowie or Mick Ronson -
Cat Stevens and Leonard Cohen. Hidden beneath all the words runs a deep regret.
A sadness that will never go away for the father I grew up with but never knew.
About the Author
Stephanie left school at 15 and joined the
BBC as a Russian Section junior secretary. Before taking up writing, she was a
BBC TV arts production assistant, researcher and director. Her debut BBC film
as a writer/director, 10 x 10 Applause, about why people clap, has been shown
at several film festivals. Author of 2 Piatkus commercial fiction novels and 2
Hamlyn non-fiction books, Stephanie has written for a variety of British
magazines and newspapers. Embracing the epublishing revolution, she started
Blackbird Digital Books in January 2010 to produce her first ebook, a
collection of her Guardian green ‘cleaning guru’ columns, answering readers’
impossible cleaning and stains questions. She now enjoys editing and publishing
other authors as well as her own books. She lives in London with her partner
and teenage daughter.
Connect with Stephanie
Wow, Stephanie, it sounds like you had a double generation gap - nay, not a gap but a chasm, LOL! I enjoyed your piece very much, thanks for sharing! And I look forward to reading you, with that approach and wit, I'm sure your books stand out!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Claude. A chasm indeed - the sad thing is I only realised how hard it must have been for him so much later.
DeleteGreat post, Stephanie! Getting older has a way of making us look back and realize how things we glossed over were important. I have a few regrets and while there's no way to repair them now, maybe our writing can teach some others.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sharon. I think I only started discovering my own past when I started writing & that's one of the biggies....
DeleteI won't say that the 'same' thing happened to me, but the get up and get out I understand. I did that and never looked back. One of the things you will never know is what your parents, father, was really thinking. Chasms have two sides.
ReplyDeleteThat's right, it's a shame we could never get beyond the misunderstandings, they were very quiet misunderstandings, not much conflict at least... just bafflement...
DeleteWhat an amazing life story. I can certainly understand the generation gap - my grandmother was about your father's age, and was equally mystified by the boomer generation. I love your phrase "whether to age gracefully or disgracefully." Instant classic!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Beth! The lack of grandparents was something I never really thought about until I was into my 30s, such an utterly self-absorbed island was I. Since then of course I've gone overboard & have done the whole Ancestry.com bit...
ReplyDeleteA beautiful post Stephanie; your description of your youth really conveys the heady excitement of the time - and what frolics you had! The poignancy of this is intense indeed; and I'm sure your father would have been so proud of all you are achieving today.
ReplyDeleteThat's a nice thought, Jacqui, thank you x
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line is about the woman who can't decide to age gracefully or disgracefully! That IS part of our choice, isn't it! Nicely done, Stephanie. Having grown up at the same time, but in the states, and having the blessing of an incredible father who was a true pal, our experiences were vastly different, but there is a core of determined rebellion that was the same. Your book sounds fascinating! Best of luck to you from the Mutinous Boomer - AKA Marsha Roberts
ReplyDeleteYes, and we are so lucky to have the choice. Thanks, Marsha, for your lovely words...
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your intriguing journey with us, Stephanie! I'm looking forward to reading your work!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Patricia, for giving my work a go...
ReplyDelete